Thoughts on Existence

On my Birthday Oct 10........... "வாழ்வெனும் உன்னதத்தில் தூங்கி உயிருடன் துயிலேலும் அதிசயம் நிறைந்த ஒவ்வொரு நாளும் பிறந்த நாளே..."

I am no more young according to the general notion of youngness. I am crossing the Lakshman Rekha of age for youngness. I am hitting 30. This birthday I feel really really happy and proud for! I am waiting for that!!! There are lot of things that makes me to feel happy on my 30th birthday. Foremost important thing I am very happy about this birthday is I am no more an youngster or said so. Because all these years taught me right thing after doing wrong things.... I dont want to learn right things that way. And this milestone age 30 symbolises me that I reached a point in my life where I learn right things by doing right things. The other thing I am very happy about this is it marks a point which reminds me that how I lived wastefully till now and says to me Don't do this again....! I will say my first 10 years of life went beautifully because "I" did not exist. The next 10 years is the development of "I". This "I" was a very common average man. On all ...

[I dedicate all these below poems to my kutty papa Jagan. He started smiling at people's faces! ] தமக்கு தாமே பேசி சிரித்து கொள்கின்றன குழந்தைகள் .... தன்னை தானே படைத்துக் கொண்ட இந்த பிரபஞ்சம் போல ... " "நெருங்கிப் பழகிய நட்புகளையும் நீண்ட நாள் சொந்தங்களையும் சந்தேகத்தில் வைத்து விடுகிறது வாழ்க்கை .... குழந்தைகளோ அந்நியமான முகங்களையும் பார்த்துச் சிரிக்கின்றன... " "காரணம் சொன்னார்கள்... கனவில் தெய்வங்கள் வந்து ஆசிர்வதிக்கும் பொழுது குழந்தைகள் தூக்கத்தில் சிரிக்குமாம்... ... குழந்தைகளை தெய்வங்கள் ஆசிர்வதிக்கின்றனவா அல்லது தெய்வங்களை குழந்தைகள் ஆசிர்வதிக்கின்றனவா?!"                                                           - ராஜேஸ்  (Children talk to themselves; And play with themselves; like this universe; which created itself; from void by a bing bang) (Life makes us doubt; close relatives and dear friends; but c...

I have been always proud of being a man. I used to believe that as a man I am mentally and physically strong. I always had a strong male ego. I used to have the same mentality towards women like everybody used to have from my part of world. As everybody I was brought up in a way that made me believe that as a man I am above women. The flawed society in various forms like mass media "cinema" reinforced the concept again & again. Like most of the men I saw them inferior, sex icons, weak, dependent, less-intelligent...etc., etc ., The moment of realisation... I always proud of being a man till that very moment of realisation struck in my mind. This stuff is personal, but not really a personal one. Here is that very moment... My wife was carrying a baby baby. One night she told that baby is kicking... It is the first time she is feeling it so strong...I laid my hands on her stomach to feel the baby...my baby hit my hands...he was moving & shaking inside...I felt like cry...

Emptiness is something always follows us a shadow in our life. Soonya of Buddha or Maya of AdiSankara has some representations of this emptiness. We feel the emptiness lots of times in lots of ways. When we think so much deep about life we can see how hollow and empty it is. A hopeless situation or a thought about death or a depressing news or just thinking about past or future can bring the feeling of instability or emptiness to mind. Normally we all don't want to get in to the philosophical or so called worrying mood. Whenever something concerns us we escape from that. We call the escape as relaxation or beating the boredom. If we don't do that everybody will become an enlightened like Buddha! (Nobody is ready to take that risk!) I also used to do lot of stuff to beat the boredom in India. Lot of them are quality stuff away from the spoilers like TV & Cinema. I like all religious places, especially old ones. In my native place, I used to go to old temples and sit in the P...

I used to watch Eelam war from my school days. I used to study all the war news of Srilanka published in Tamil, English news papers and magazines. I read about history and politics of Srilanka to understand Eelam struggle. I knew all about Sinhalese chauvinism and righteousness for tamil self-determination. I knew all the historical events that led to offshoot of violent struggle from non-violence. All these made me a supporter for Eelam cause from my college days. I did support LTTE because there is nobody there to fight for the Eelam in reality. Against my inner self which told that violence cannot succeed on it's own, I too believed that Eelam can be completely achieved by armed struggle. Without any doubt the Tigers too believed it. But they made a mistake. They believed it too much. Whatever obstacles they came across they used arms to shatter it. This led to a single historical mistake which changed the course of eelam war. I can simply say that when Rajiv Gandhi was ...

Do you know how Hitler murdered Jews in thousands? Do you know how in Gujarat riots Muslims were murdered by Hindus in Hundreds? Do you know how Tamils in SriL anka were killed by neighbouring Sinhalese mobs? Lot of people who killed others in name of religion and ethnicity were first time murderers. Ordinary people like you and me did that. Believe me, Yes. You are capable to do that atrocious act. If you believe in something vehemently without doubt. If you are deconstructed it will not happen. What is deconstruction? Deconstruction is having multiple beliefs. You believe in God but the same time you believe that you came because of evolution. You believe in Horoscopes at the same time you know that they could be fake. You believe in Rama at the same time you know that he might not lived. You are fragmented such that you might not believe in a single truth. How to deconstruct yourself? Its simple.... be aware and doubt any single belief. Deconstruction is nothing but maturity in mi...